Directed by: Daniel Minahan
Distributed by: HBO
Written by Anna Harrison
Overview
In these retrospectives, I will be looking back on “Game of Thrones” through my viewpoint as a fanatical fan of George R. R. Martin’s original book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire.” Mostly, I suspect this will be an exercise in venting my frustration about the adaptation of the books and pointing out where things went wrong in my mind—and I have a lot to work out.
For ease of reference, the show “Game of Thrones” can be abbreviated as “GOT” or “Thrones,” and the books in “A Song of Ice and Fire” can be abbreviated as “ASOIAF.”
The books in the series are “A Game of Thrones,” “A Clash of Kings,” “A Storm of Swords,” “A Feast for Crows,” “A Dance With Dragons,” and the as-yet unpublished “The Winds of Winter” and “A Dream of Spring.” These can be abbreviated as “AGOT,” “ACOK,” “ASOS,” “AFFC,” “ADWD,” “TWOW,” and “ADOS.”
Chapters within the book will be referred to by their point-of-view character and a Roman numeral indicating what chapter within the POV it is (ex., Catelyn I, Jaime II, Arya III, and so on), as Martin does not number his chapters nor name them besides indicating whose POV we are about to enter.
60/100
Let’s talk about sex, baby.
“Game of Thrones” is notorious for its sex scenes. They are common and they are graphic, supposedly the mark of proper “adult” fantasy. In the first six episodes of season one, we have seen incest between Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Cersei (Lena Headey), the rape of Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) on her wedding night, and Theon (Alfie Allen) having his way with various sex workers, but that was child’s play compared to what comes (get it) in “You Win or You Die.”
Sex on screen is not a bad thing. Done well, it can be a very good thing; in fact, in my review for “House of the Dragon” season one, I singled out its sex scenes as a highlight of the show, as they managed to convey a wealth of information about the characters through how they each approached sex. In “A Song of Ice and Fire,” there are tender moments between Jon Snow and Ygritte (Rose Leslie), or Asha and Qarl the Maid (who I guess was just too sexy for the show), and there are scenes such as the one between Arianne (also too sexy for the show) and Arys Oakheart (decidedly unsexy) that thrust us into a world of guilt and manipulation while dangling future plot points. (In the spirit of fairness, there are also some sex scenes in “ASOIAF” that are duds. But even they—“fat pink mast” comes to mind—tend to reveal something about the characters in the moment.)
For “Thrones,” however, the sex is not a vehicle for character growth, but for getting the (largely male) audience off; how else to explain the scene in Littlefinger’s (Aidan Gillen) brothel? There is no growth to be had, unless it’s in audience members’, uh, members, as Littlefinger directs two of the women in his employ (Esme Bianco, whose Ros has become a familiar face by now, and adult film star Sahara Knite) to fuck each other. While this occurs, Littlefinger also expounds upon his backstory, specifically about his ill-fated duel with Brandon Stark for Catelyn’s (Michelle Fairley) hand, and his lust for power, but what is conveyed there that simply must be portrayed through sex?
And let us not forget the type of sex on screen: sex between two women. Better scholars than I can expound upon why this so often appeals to straight men, but if I were to hazard a guess, it’s because that double the tits means double the fun. What follows amounts to porn, only there are no vulvas and Littlefinger monologues over much of the scene, but the camera lingers on the performers’ breasts and takes care to ogle every inch of skin, and we hear cries of ecstasy from the women that are tailor-made to make a man think he’s hot shit. That Littlefinger is directing them is incidental—these women exist primarily to be objects of sexual gratification for the (again, assumed male) viewer. We didn’t see Loras (Finn Jones) and Renly (Gethin Anthony) blowing each other, since that would have turned off the straight men watching; get two women to make out, even if—perhaps especially if—ordered by a man, well… that’s just good business.
But is it even that? In focusing on the sex of it all, not only might some of the details of Brandon’s duel escape viewers, but David Benioff and D. B. Weiss ignore a key aspect of Littlefinger: he would never tell anyone—let alone two women in his employ—this kind of information. That leaves him too vulnerable. Besides, he has deluded himself into framing his possessive desire for Cat (and subsequent hatred of the Starks) as romantic love. Where is that misplaced romanticism here? And, furthermore, the inclusion of this scene so early in the episode deadens the reveal of Littlefinger’s betrayal later on.
So not only is the scene exploitative and demeaning—and not just to the women, either, for the fact that this crucial exposition occurs during a steamy lesbian sex scene signals a lack of faith in the audience, treating them as horny teenage boys rather than adults with (presumably) functioning brains who can pay attention without needing a pair of breasts onscreen to draw their gaze—it does nothing except damage the story.
The scene is a glaring misstep in an otherwise exciting episode; besides being a harbinger of how poorly “Thrones” will handle its women in the years to come, it brings the briskly-paced story to a screeching halt for several long and hard (get it) minutes. Look at what else we have in the episode: the introduction of Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance), an assassination attempt on Daenerys’s (Emilia Clarke) life, the death of King Robert (Mark Addy), Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) declaring that he will bring war to the Seven Kingdoms, and the betrayal of Ned (Sean Bean) by Littlefinger and the Lannisters. If not for the sexposition, “You Win or You Die” would likely be the best episode of the season so far.
So let’s focus on the good stuff, shall we? To start: Tywin. The show will veer into hero-worship of the Lannister patriarch later, but for now, his first appearance makes the world of Westeros that much bigger, and from the minute we catch a glimpse of Tywin skinning a stag (no symbolism there, I’m sure), we understand why this man is feared—and why his children are all so messed up. Even glib Jaime, normally so confident and blasé, quails under Tywin’s baleful gaze. The casting of Charles Dance is so masterful that the show will even begin to believe the lies that Tywin tells—that preserving your pride is better and smarter than showing mercy, that “the lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of the sheep”—because Dance is so damn magnetic.
Tywin has refused Ned’s summons to court, and the Lannisters prepare for war.
They can do so comfortably because King Robert lays dying from a boar wound inflicted whilst out hunting. At Cersei’s (Lena Headey) behest, Robert’s squire, Lancel Lannister (Eugene Simon), had plied the king with wine to encourage him to make a fatal mistake in the hunt; while far from a foolproof plan, it worked, and so Robert spends this episode wasting away until his final breath, thus leaving the Lannisters to their own devices. He never could have stopped a war entirely, what with Littlefinger and Varys (Conleth Hill) inching Westeros towards chaos for their own devices, but his death certainly hastens its arrival. And, of course, the departure of Robert means the departure of Mark Addy, who often gets lost in the shadow of Sean Bean’s exit two episodes from now, but who is just as instrumental in getting “Thrones” off the ground. He was at once fearsome and pitiable, loathsome and generous, and captured Robert’s arrested development and pain from the war for his throne—as well as the pain he inflicted on others. He made “Thrones” a story about real people, not mythical knights in shining armor or dragons.
Alas, Robert’s demise also spells doom for dear old Ned, though the audience doesn’t know that yet.
People like to say that Ned made three idiotic moves in this episode that lead to his death: one, he advises Cersei to take her children and flee before he reveals the truth of their parentage; two, he rejects Renly’s offer of an alliance; and three, he trusts Littlefinger. But let us remember one crucial thing—Ned is a good person. He is a man who stopped talking to his best friend (one Robert Baratheon) for years because of the cruel deaths of the young Rhaenys and Aegon Targaryen during Robert’s Rebellion, deaths which Robert deemed necessary. That he offers Cersei and her children a way to avoid the fate of Elia Martell and her children is an admirable thing. The Lannisters and their ilk view every interaction as a way to either amass or lose power, and what happens to them? Their family falls apart. (Well. At least in the books.) In letting Cersei know of his plan, Ned may have cost himself his life (though, as I spoke about last time link, had Robert lived then likely Ned would have too), but his legacy of justice and mercy lives on through his stable children who all love each other and don’t spend their time daydreaming about various ways to kill the other members of their family.
Besides, the deaths of Elia Martell and her children have repercussions that will be felt with the introduction of Pedro Pascal’s Oberyn in season four, and will be carried on by Arianne and Quentyn—oh, right. Anyway. Had Ned told Robert about Joffrey’s (Jack Gleeson) true parentage, Robert would have likely killed Cersei and the children; had Ned agreed to Renly’s plan to take them hostage, Tywin Lannister would have scorched the earth. Tywin sacked the Riverlands just because Catelyn took his least favorite son (Peter Dinklage) hostage—imagine what he would have done if Cersei and his grandchildren were killed or held as captives.
As for the Renly of it all… Well. In refuting the claim of his older brother Stannis (Stephen Dillane, soon), Renly asks Ned, “Do you still believe good soldiers make good kings?” Renly, what makes you a good king? You can’t coast on charisma and the fact that—in the books, at least—you’re a carbon copy of Robert when he was young and good looking. Siding with Renly might have ensured Ned made it out of King’s Landing alive, but what happens when it’s time to choose Renly’s heir, now that the precedent of younger brother usurping older has been set? (I must also add that I dislike the show’s decision to paint Renly as a legitimate candidate for the throne who didn’t even want power to begin with; it is the first inkling of the show’s anti-Stannis bias and undermines much of Martin’s thematic work about the knights of summer. More on that next season.)
So. Ned offers mercy to Cersei, rejects Renly’s proposal, and decides to trust that Littlefinger will back his decision to remove the Lannisters from power. The viewers have known that Littlefinger is untrustworthy, and Gillen certainly plays up his sliminess even disregarding that awful sexposition scene in this episode. But from Ned’s perspective, Littlefinger is his wife’s trusted childhood friend who would never stoop to something so low. Perhaps it was naïve of Ned to trust anyone in King’s Landing, but none of his “mistakes” here are the dunderheaded blunders that certain segments of fans paint them out to be. Ned is only a man trying to do the right thing, surrounded by self-serving fools and brought to his doom through pure luck (in that Cersei’s inane plan to kill her husband worked) rather than any stupidity or incompetence on his part.
Yet even if the audience can see Littlefinger’s betrayal from miles away, that makes it no less harrowing. We can feel the walls closing in around our erstwhile protagonist, and the stakes have risen to an all-time high. The only dunderheaded blunder here belongs to the inclusion of that insulting brothel scene, not my sweet Ned.
Fun Facts, Tidbits, and Future Events:
- From my notes: “Jaime my beautiful princess with a disorder.” I love when he lies. “I could care less what they think.” First of all, that is an incorrect aphorism; second of all, that is the biggest bunch of bullshit I have ever heard.
- Tywin is severely balding but with great big mutton chops in the book. I don’t think that would suit Charles Dance, but it is a funny image.
- “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground.” Insert Leo pointing at the screen meme.
- Robert saying “I was never meant to be a father” to Joffrey is actually crazy work. One of the few times I feel sorry for that kid.
- “We all know what Stannis is, he inspires no love or loyalty. He’s not a king. I am.” This line from Renly is absolute Davos erasure, for whom Stannis inspires both love and loyalty.
- The assassination attempt on Dany’s life is shot so weirdly. The bazaar is almost never shown in wide shots, and the extreme closeups and the rapid cuts as she, Jorah (Iain Glen), and the doomed wine merchant (Simon Lowe) play their game of chicken are just… very bad. It feels more like a cheesy 80s action thriller than a prestige HBO show. Dany also looks very, very tan in this episode.
- Jorah mentions not believing dragons ever existed, which seems odd given that they were pretty verifiably real. I don’t think this is in the books and likely just to make the birth of Dany’s dragons later on more hype.
- So many of the extras for the Night’s Watch have that shaggy 2010s Justin Bieber haircut, it’s very distracting.
- I love when Jon (Kit Harington) gets schooled in class consciousness. He is such a drama queen.
- Theon and the wildling Osha (Natalia Tena) have an exposition-heavy scene where Theon wields his limited power over her to try and make himself feel better. “I thought she was our prisoner,” he tells Maester Luwin (Donald Sumpter) when interrupted. Then comes Luwin with the steel chair: “Are the two mutually exclusive in your experience?” Damn.
- Jason Momoa is so great as Khal Drogo because the role relies almost entirely on charisma and physicality, which he has in spades, and whenever he talks, it’s usually not in English. Perfect.
- The Night’s Watch vows are so cool. That’s all.
- Places and people mentioned in this episode: Bowen Marsh, who will later conspire to kill Jon; Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, one of the Night’s Watch’s other castles and the name of a bad season seven episode; and Asshai by the Shadow, where Dany was once supposed to journey before Martin changed his mind about her plot.
Episode Ranking:
- “A Golden Crown”
- “The Wolf and the Lion”
- “The Kingsroad”
- “Winter Is Coming”
- “Lord Snow”
- “You Win or You Die”
- “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things”
“Game of Thrones” Season One Trailer
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