Directed by: Dexter Fletcher
Distributed by: Apple TV+
Written by Maria Athayde
“Ghosted ” is the latest entry in Apple TV+ originals catalogue and an exercise in what not to do in filmmaking. Everything about this movie is uninspired and bland, not even eye candy like Chris Evans and Ana de Armas can save it. The story is simple: Sadie (Ana de Armas) is an emotionally unavailable arts curator that meets Cole (Chris Evans), a romantically anxious and forgetful vendor at a farmer’s market. After getting off on the wrong foot Sadie and Cole spend the night together and return to their lives. Cole texts Sadie multiple times and receives no response. Cole’s sister (Lizzie Broadway) mocks him suggesting that he was ghosted. Cole remembers he left his inhaler in Sadie’s purse and using the tile tracker on his inhaler he follows her to London and the real adventure begins. Upon his arrival, Cole is tortured and kidnapped but Sadie comes to his rescue where he learns she is a CIA operative and not an art curator. From here on out Sadie and Cole evade several mustache-twirling goons to protect the world from a bio-weapon named Aztec.
In this simplicity lies one of the first flaws of the movie. Every character feels either comically underwritten or written by AI. The characterization and costuming are equally as poor, especially the wig worn by Ana de Armas throughout the movie. The characterization is so generic that in the final fight in the movie Ana de Armas’ character uses a black dress almost identical to the one she used in “No Time To Die.” The problems continue for “Ghosted” with poor VFXs and obvious use of green screens that never allow you to fully buy into the story, characters, or threats presented on the screen. Whatever the opposite of an immersive experience is, is what this movie gives you.
I could go on and on about everything that I disliked about “Ghosted” but here are a few standouts: the cameos that serve no purpose (watch “Free Guy” or “Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves if you want better cameos) and the soundtrack. The soundtrack was so distracting and made me dislike songs that I would like in different contexts. The complete lack of chemistry between de Armas and Evans throughout the movie’s side characters kept talking about the sexual tension between the leads but the tension was absolutely nonexistent. You can watch “Knives Out” instead if you want a bit more tension between de Armas and Evans. In conclusion, everything about this movie feels phoned-in and generic. Don’t waste your time with it and if you are a fan of the actors involved save yourself some time and seek out their other projects instead.