Directed by: Jared Hess
Distributed by: Warner Bros. Pictures
Written by Nick McCann
47/100
I haven’t touched “Minecraft” in at least a decade, which makes seeing its current upswing in popularity baffle my mind. Yet its importance and continued appeal as one of history’s most successful video games is not lost on me. With its limitless realms and player-driven nature, it makes for a particularly strange choice to adapt into a film. At the same time, that freedom leaves plenty of room to produce whatever comes to mind. And whatever came to the mind of director Jared Hess was… certainly an approach.
In contrast to the game’s generally chill atmosphere that verges on zen calmness, the movie is a hyperactive adventure that doesn’t care for logic or understanding. There’s not so much a story going on here as there are vignettes that spring the strangest gags on you (the gosh dang chicken jockey). Just as our characters are whisked away to a premade faraway realm, you feel like you’re launched into someone’s game server but don’t get to play. Even if you were to go along with this dime-a-dozen isekai anime setup, the zaniness is dialed so far up that it crosses any limit for tolerating dumb weirdness. True, it’s a kids’ movie and that fact becomes VERY apparent as it goes on. Yet the same target audience is capable of thinking smart enough to erect massive structures in-game or build intricate infrastructure with enough patience and Monster energy drinks. Along with rigid exposition that may as well be a bad game tutorial, it shows a lack of trust in the audience to buy into how fantastical the game already is.
There really didn’t need to be characters making an attempt at depth, but here they are in their uninteresting glory. A band of lively performances gets weighed down drastically by bulk clichés, questionable story backgrounds, and the overall cartoony presentation around them. If you’re going to raise a point about these people being creative minds continually hampered by life’s priorities, maybe don’t have them deliver dialogue that’s only meant to fuel social media reactions. As you’d expect, Jack Black thrives without restraint here. He’s on full blast with one-liners, songs, and his usual likable energy. Not only does he stand out in the ensemble, any part where he isn’t on screen is a clear net negative on the experience. Slight exception to Jason Momoa having fun playing the coward projecting faux courage and self-absorbed coolness. Otherwise, who was asking for that Jennifer Coolidge subplot?
Making this movie in live-action at all verges near the top of the questionable decisions chart. CGI galore, as one could guess, but going in on rendering realistic textures in the environments is jarring when everything’s still built with literal graphic bit blocks. These ultra-realism mods need to be uninstalled pronto. Admittedly, seeing live sets built in the style is amusing. It’s a bright and colorful film with some dynamic yet weird flair. Lots of familiar sights appear from the game and sometimes serve a chuckle-worthy action beat (creepers, sheep zombie dinner, the gosh dang chicken jockey, etc.).
Everything in this film baffles the mind. Whatever kind of pro-creative mind mentality they’re trying to get across becomes bogged down by insanity that rarely dips. It is what it is: “A Minecraft Movie.” Something built from shallow source material that got used to shake keys in front of moviegoing eyeballs. It features colors, loud noises, and constant forward momentum—a far cry from the actual game’s experience. But if you’re not of serious mind and don’t really care how you take in entertainment, then by all means chew on this like a plate of lava chicken. Maybe craft up a beer or farm some weed for added enjoyment.
“A Minecraft Movie” Trailer
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